When a break happens, it usually connotes something negative. I've experienced enough of them at each level throughout my life that I got tired of the break breaking me.
Just like my choice to be happy, finding the gold nugget in what looks like a pile of shit is something I choose to do. When a break happens, I usually feel awful at first - sometimes numb, but more often just defeated.
I've learned to surrender and accept my circumstances, because resistance tends to keep things cyclical. I prefer to learn and grow. So when I find myself in the shit, I try to shift my perspective and see it as fertilizer. I sift through it for nuggets of truth, even if they're hard to swallow (they are covered in shit, after all).
The truth can hurt, but that's okay. Feelings can be challenging and painful, but they're temporary. (Stuck feelings are a different story - they become toxic, and need to be cleared for better health and well-being.)
Wallowing is also something I do my best to pull myself out of quickly. I don't want to see myself as a victim. I also want to feel better.
Ruminating doesn't help beyond a certain point. I say that because I do think it's important to review and analyze a situation thoroughly to gain a better understanding of myself or others. But once I figure things out, I force myself to get out of my head and into my body so I can release what's not mine to carry, and what no longer serves me.
Love and compassion come next. I bring them in, starting as a trickle, then opening the faucets to really soak it in. The more love and compassion I have for myself, the more I have it for others, and the more they have it for me. Love is so healing - if I can't find it within myself readily, I source it from the universe, my spirit guides, nature - and slowly I feel it fill me up and heal me.
Once that happens, I can take another look back to see the other side of things. Another person's point of view, seeing the challenge as a gift to make me a better person, increases my self-love and compassion.
I radically accept the present, and all of its potential. I remove any assumptions, and focus on the most positive outcome I can imagine for the situation. I know my thoughts create my reality, so I use my energy to manifest what's best for the situation and all parties within it (not necessarily what I want). I pray for truth and clarity to percolate to the surface in times of misunderstanding. I pray for anger to dissipate. I send love in every direction: first, to myself, then, to everyone else.
If any of this feels too difficult, or if I feel blocked, that's when I bring it back to basics, and do Reiki. I place my hands on whatever chakra feels tight or blocked or needs clearing or strength. I ground myself continually, and when I find myself too much in my head (as I often do), I move back into my body. I sing, dance, walk in nature, stretch - anything to feel my connection to Source and Ground, to strengthen my inner light, and reflect back Grace and Love to everyone I encounter along the way.
This is the real breakthrough.
Thoughts or questions? Feel free to comment below. For support with your own break/through, I invite you to reach out and schedule a session.