Using Anger Constructively

Photo by Francesc Toldrà
I get angry. A lot. My life until my 30s was driven largely by negativity and bitterness. These feelings are low vibration, and our goal in health and wellness is to live at a high vibration. The difference is remarkable in how it's reflected in our bodies. Note the heavy bodily feeling of depression against the practically humming vibration you send through your body when you're feeling joy.

I was so angry I didn't even know it. In fact, I'll always be grateful to the psychic reader who told me in my teens that I wouldn't go anywhere until I released my anger. She said it was getting in my way. How frustrating! I didn't think I was that angry. I couldn't see it. Probably because I lived in New York during the 1980s...lots of people around me were so much worse. My own anger barely registered.

Once it was highlighted as an obstacle, I knew I had to do something to release it. That cumulative anger was really stuck, and I'm always finding new things in the nooks and crannies of my memory to process.

So I work on it continually, over many years, moving into gratitude, really feeling higher vibrations when I'm 'in the flow', living in the moment, allowing grace and energy to flow through me freely. This is when I'm at my best.

But I still get angry. Life happens. People do and say things. My body changes and isn't working the way it used to, or worse, is experiencing a health crisis. This is where I use anger constructively. And it quickly moves the lower vibration higher very quickly if you're doing it right.

This is the process: I feel angry. I figure out the reason why, no matter how long that takes. This usually involves meditation, journaling, or rumination of some kind. I greet the thoughts in a neutral way (this keeps me from fueling the anger). Then I determine whether there's anything I can do. Sometimes it requires research, sometimes it's more meditation, or simply letting time pass.

But if I determine I can do something, then I take action immediately. Once I take action, my vibration rises, and the anger transmutes into a fiery confidence and joy of having taken steps to overcome whatever the issue is. Whether it's a decision to move into a place of compassion, or change my nutrition, or anything in between, moving forward and taking action gives me a feeling of conquering a problem that no one else could solve, and I feel like a warrior.

Sometimes there's nothing I can do. If that's the case, I do my best to let it go. It's in the past. I reset my expectations, move into the present moment, and take joy into my body, breathing in the fact that I can control my thoughts. That I can let go of a bruised ego. And I live by The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz as much as I can, as it is a sure path to happiness. (If you do nothing else, read this book.) Essentially, it's this: Be impeccable with your word, don't take things personally, don't make assumptions, and always do your best. It's pretty solid advice that helps with letting go of unnecessary anger and carves a path to living a good, happy life.

So the real revelation is this: It's okay to feel angry. In fact, if we use it constructively, it's a really good thing. It highlights discomfort or pain in our lives, it shows us our shadows when we examine our triggers, and fuels the fire burning inside that drives us creatively. As long as we feel it and release it, it's just a feeling. The only time to be concerned is when our anger takes up residence and stays for too long, becoming a stuck, toxic emotion. This usually leads to health issues. So release anger any way that feels right: breathe, go for a walk, dance or box it out, sing it out, write in a journal, etc. If it still doesn't leave, keep working on releasing until it's gone. You can also book a session with an energy healer, or find a massage therapist who does myofascial or somatoemotional release.

Life will always flow, and feelings come and go along with it. My goal these days is to greet and validate my feelings, be grateful to them for highlighting any issue, and release the feelings and move forward accordingly. I use my anger constructively so I can look forward to learning and growing at a soul level in the process. And the results have been a feeling of lightness and joy that is more of a constant than not. I come from a place of love and compassion when I'm having a good day, so even though I still get angry, it doesn't own me. I've learned to meet it, thank it, and show it the door once it is no longer needed.

Do you get angry? Have you found healthy ways to release that anger? Feel free to comment below.