Out of Control

I'm living life out of control. In the best way.

I've historically lived my life doing my best to be in control. Not just of myself, but of others. One would think I'd see the impossibility and impracticality - the futility - of this attempt. But it's only now that I truly see and can let go of this nonsense.

I still catch myself wanting to control things - a situation, a conversation, my appetite, my moods - and then I let go. I realize I just can't. The only things I can control - my thoughts, my perceptions, my actions - start to exhaust me. I start to crumble and surrender. I have nothing left. I'm done.

The real response I'm having is not lack of control. It's complete surrender to the Now. True presence and radical acceptance of what's before me. Putting it down if I don't feel the need or have the strength to carry it. Allowing the forces of Nature and the power of magical thought and intention to take over. They do a much better job, anyway.

Letting go of control is becoming more of a conditioned response for me now, and I like how it feels, in contrast to the tension of imaginarily controlling my reality. It's more relaxed and easy, and it feels better energetically. Mentally, though, it still feels weird.

I can loosen up that weird mental tangle when I remember that I never had control in the first place. Any sense of control has always been an illusion. Any desire for control now gets shifted into intention, manifestation, and magical thinking.

By shifting my energy into creativity, by focusing my thoughts and intentions, I create a new reality that, ironically, is the greatest demonstration of control in the best sense. Keeping myself balanced mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is the new barometer of health. And occasionally, losing control and hitting the reset button can bring peace of mind, contentment, and tranquility to what initially felt tumultuous or chaotic.

Lean into the tumult. Ride the waves of change like a surfer gliding through the ocean's curls. Enjoin with the chaos to find the next level of order when the calm inevitably arrives.

Feel free to share a time when letting go of control felt right in the comments below. Want some help with letting go of control? Schedule a session with Michelle to get started.